Intestines or Testosterone?
Passion, that's right, PASSION. Apparently it rises in women as they get older and it drops in men.......so we are told. I've given this some serious thought now I have reached the age it has started to affect me. Am I still a passionate man? Has my age started to affect my desire or lust levels? I don't know if I am honest, but somethings have definitely changed.
Do I still want to "bump uglies"? Most definitely, but do I want to do it as often as I did when I was younger? Definitely not, no way. I couldn't. I mean, when testosterone first took over my body I would have been aroused for the slightest reason. Saggy breasted tribes women in old National Geographic magazines or even a door left open at the right angle were enough to trigger a response. So what is so different today?
I think I know what it is too. You see, I like evening "romance" but my wife likes mornings. Earlier in my life mornings would never have been a problem. So, I don't think I'm lacking testosterone, no, I'm lacking bowel control.
When I wake up in the morning it can appear that I'm "interested" because, like most men, I look somewhat aroused. The whole circus tent look on my side of the bed is because I need to visit the bathroom. You see, whilst my liver and kidneys are not showing any signs of aging, my bladder is. As a fail-safe deterrent preventing men from waking up in a wet bed, we men become aroused. This should make perfect sense as men are not as good at multi tasking as women. The same applies to our little head, it can either pee or perform but not both at the same time.
Add to this uncomfortable aroused condition the imminent threat of a turtle's head trying to appear between my buttocks. I keep hoping that it is just explosive gas but I wouldn't bet money on it. I just can't imagine the mental scarring that would take place if I tried to get "jiggy" with a dodgy bladder and a jihadi turtle promising to ruin the show. Even if it was only gas, I don't think there has ever existed a woman who has been turned on by their lover's arse playing a "Flight of the Bumble Bee" trumpet solo during passionate love making. If there was an accident, I don't think I could live with myself. Then again, I don't think anyone would want to live with me if that happened.
So no, I don't think I'm losing my passion..........just lower body muscle control. Oh, hang on a minute, someone has left a door slightly open.
