Woke Pokemon

My Grandson, who will soon be five years old, is crazy about Pokemon cards. Since I had to stay in Hong Kong for a couple of days, I thought I would buy him some Pokemon cards whilst I was here. However, the two shops that I researched online did not exist. That is three hours of my life I am not getting back.

Still, I did not give up. I continued pounding the footpaths of Hong Kong and found a small shop that was specialized in Pokemon and other collectable cards. Here was where my problem started. It had nothing to do with language, the two young men I spoke to behind the counter actually spoke  good English. The problem was that they were young and I am now nervous talking to younger people.

I was recently informed, by someone much younger than me, that I had “white privilege”, which came as a surprise to me. I’m not used to dealing with such “woke” terms and I certainly never ever felt privileged in my life. Indeed, for a period of time in my life, I thought being selected to burn the faeces of my fellow soldiers, whilst under rocket attack, was the closest I have ever come to winning the lottery. So no, I do not feel privileged and my skin colour has never prevented me from doing degrading menial work. Being introduced to wokeism like this has now made me nervous when talking to the younger generations. They think differently, they even have countless genders that I cannot comprehend, I thought there was only two.

So when the young men behind the counter asked me who the Pokemon cards were for I answered, “My grandchild, who is nearly five years old.” I thought that was a safe answer and not gender specific.

Then they asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?”

In truth, I panicked. I thought they were testing me and would be outraged if I offended anyone. I wish I had captured on film the look on their faces when I said, “She has a cock.”