What would you have done?
Air conditioning can have strange side effects for those using it. For me, I get a blocked nose. I don’t know why, I just do. Unfortunately for me, this can lead to moments of weakness and I end up picking my nose in an effort to unblock it. Now, picking my nose should not end up being a drama. Unless it results in the sudden on rush of a nose bleed. Again, a nose bleed should not end up being a drama………….unless you have sensitive blue eyes. "What the Hell do blue eyes have to do with nose bleeds becoming a drama?" I hear you ask. Well, sudden bright lights can make you sneeze. When the nose bleed started, and a gusher it was too, I sprang out of bed, tilted my head backwards and waddled carefully towards the bathroom, where I could find some tissue paper.
As I skirted around the very white bed and passed the very white hotel room walls, the sun decided to reveal itself from behind a cloud, resulting in the very sudden and bright illumination of my room. You guessed it, I sneezed. Not just a single sneeze either……….a triple. The first sneeze sprayed the ceiling and nearest wall in blood. The second covered the floor and the third one, which I tried to cover with my hand, now splashed all over my face and chest.
It is hard, at this point, to even think there is a positive I could note in the scene that has unfolded. My hotel room looks like the set of a Quentin Tarantino film and I look like a vampire has been sick on me. So the positive? None of my clothes are covered in blood because I’m naked.
As I stood there naked, blood splattered and shocked at the sight of my room……… my hotel door opens. From around the door appears a dumpy Brazilian housekeeping lady. No doorbell, no knocking, no call of “Housekeeping!” No warning what-so-ever.
She looked at me. I, frozen to the spot, looked back at her. She looked at the dripping ceiling. I stared at her. She looked at blood running down the walls. I continued to stare at her. She now looks at me, all of naked me and then, finally, as the blood continues to drip off my chin, she looks directly into my eyes. Then, without any sign of horror on her face or fear in her voice she asks, “Agua?” and holds up two bottles of drinking water. As I reached out slowly with bloodied hands, I smiled and replied, “Gracias.”
She stepped backwards, never taking her eyes off me, exits my room and closes my door. As I stood there asking myself a million questions, not least of which, was what the Hell just happened? I started to laugh as I realized, that would be the last time she ever barges her way into a guest’s room without knocking first.
